I got really mad at my friends today because they wouldn't buy me dinner even though I could pay them back in a week and while I was stewing and they were out eating I thought that life should be a shotgun blast of beauty, nay multiple, crecendicious, and that I shouldn't freak out about missing dinner. I got to thinking about what I think is beautiful, and about what my role should be in creating beautiful things, and I basically thought the word beauty a bunch of times while lying on the couch and I came up with the old 'Whatever happens happens' answer, that to strive for it is fine, if you desire, but to find it when it comes up is equally fine. You can only hope it's crecendicious. Still, this is fine, even if there's no bullet train to the crescendo at least there's some more koan in something, which is always a bit beautiful.