So the videoblogs are not as popular as I had hoped they would be. I wanted to be a famous on-screen personality. Perhaps I'll make new ones as the old ones get views, and just mostly stick to writing. I talked to my friends and they're going to let me stay here while my disability hearing goes before a judge, up and until, without paying rent. So shouts to them, new friends are still friends. My mom officially cannot work this site, which means I can talk about her, and so; I'm worried that I'll do the thing she does/has done in her life and leave people behind. Like perhaps it's inevitable and people just move on etc etc but I'd like to believe you can create semi-permanent relationships, death trumping all. I still have an old friend or two that I get into contact with on occasion and I'd like to think that if there were a gathering of old friends we'd all be happy together and not weird, but who knows. I really want to veer from meeting people and barely getting to know them and then letting them shoot by. Like losing a person you have a great connection with and know fiercely is almost less bad than letting someone you could know that well escape, even if you want that death-trump-only-type. At least you had the experience with the first. Maybe my mom's move is her own and she's a rambler or maybe it's how it goes for everyone or just some people or whatever but what I want to promote is serious relationships brimming with intelligent conversation and killforeachother, and these take time to create and sometimes last quite a while and sometimes fizzle out. I think I just talked a circle there but it helped me put down the idea that I'm just friend-jumping, and bring me into the reality that I look for quality relationships, even if sometimes they are lacking.