I am reading Inkheart, which you shouldn't because it sucks and I'm about to put it down, but there's a part where the little girl asks her auntie who is a shrew if she's ever had a boyfriend or husband or something and the auntie is like heavens no what would I want to do that for. And I went out with my mother today, which I shouldn't because it sucks but whatever, and we had a conversation with her friend about how her friend's boy doesn't really dive on the females but assures his mother he is not gay, which is pretty much my mother's picture of me. So but anyways I got to thinking about the shrew and thought that it might be the path for me. It's not that I don't believe I'd make a wonderful mate and don't have a high opinion of myself - far from it. It's that I don't have either of those for many of the women I come across. I told this to my mother, but not succinctly, and she said I had the wrong attitude. I don't. I absolutely don't. I do not want to settle for anything I don't want, apart from little things that obviously beg compromise, and I am beset on all sides by things I don't want. I wont settle for a bad attitude out of a girl I would otherwise want 99 percent of the time in my presence. You shouldn't have to, and I wont. So....shrew time. I gave up masturbating about a year ago (you really are interested in that factoid) and without the urge to O every day or couple of days or whatever it is I don't really need to be satisfied on that front, and no I'm not saying a woman is only good for a sloppy O, but as far as an emotional connection goes, fuck yes I need to be satisfied there, but I'm not settling for one that comes with razor-blade cutter legs or fucking around or an evil bitch attitude. So...shrew time, I guess. I don't know how much I care. I try to model my life after the anime character Spike Spiegel, so much so that I had the option to quit smoking but didn't because cmon, Spike, and his philosophy works in this situation as well. And if I remember correctly, he had love in his eyes for the blonde girl but it didn't work out because "bang, bang" and I think I may go out in a similar fashion, without ever conducting a grand relationship. I want to have sex with like 90 percent of the women I meet, or perhaps that is a little high, but there is self respect, and sometimes there's a glint in my eye that never turns into anything grand and conducty, because to conduct I would have to change shoe brands and dye my feet yellow and listen to Eminem and really like it and whatever the fuck else is demanded of me. So...shrew time.